The last week or two has been tough. Not sure why I got so low again just when I had started feeling like I was getting somewhere. I guess I wondered whether it might be at least partly hormonal. Anyway it got pretty bad and in the end I gave up trying to fight it on my own and went to the doctor (with a little encouragement from a couple of friends). Thinking about it now I don’t know why I waited so long. If I had a stomach problem I wouldn’t wait 8 or 9 months to see someone about it. Anyway the doc gave me a low dose of anti-depressants to take (probably for a few months) to see if it helps. It took me a while to think about whether I was up for taking them – again when I reflect on that it’s a bit strange. I wouldn’t be averse to taking meds for a physical condition so why for this?
I’m kinda glad it was a low dose cause already the side effects aren’t very pleasant. On Day 1 I just felt a bit squeamish. Day 2 and 3 I had quite bad headaches to go along with that and palpitations at one point. Then Day 4 I felt lower, more pain and more anxiety than I have done in a long time and even had a full blown panic attack. I really hope these side effects are short lived. I hope the pills do what they’re supposed to and I can start to feel more like myself again.
Today I have work all day so I’m praying that I won’t have any of these yucky side effects while I’m there (or at all). I’ll let you know how things go.