He Wants Me

I wanted to share this song with you since I’ve been listening to it most of this week on and off. I came across it the other morning when I was feeling pretty low and it helped to turn around my thinking at the time and made me feel loved.

I think my greatest desire (for myself) is to feel loved and wanted and seen and known but my feelings don’t always oblige. This song reminded me that God sees me and knows me better than anyone and somehow even though he knows all about my shortcomings and my failures the God of the universe wants me. That boggles my brain when I think about it just for a minute. Anyway I hope the song blesses you as much as it did me.

Control by Tenth Avenue North

Here I am
All my intentions
All my obsessions
I want to lay them all down
In Your hands
Only Your love is vital
Though I’m not entitled
Still You call me Your child

God You don’t need me
But somehow You want me
Oh, how You love me
Somehow that frees me
To take my hands off of my life
And the way it should go

God You don’t need me
But somehow You want me
Oh, how You love me
Somehow that frees me
To open my hands up
And give You control
I give You control

I’ve had plans
Shattered and broken
Things I have hoped in
Fall through my hands
You have plans
To redeem and restore me
You’re behind and before me
Oh, help me believe

God You don’t need me
But somehow You want me
Oh, how You love me
Somehow that frees me
To take my hands off of my life
And the way it should go, oh

God You don’t need me
But somehow You want me
Oh, how You love me
Somehow that frees me
To open my hands up
And give You control

Oh, You want me
Somehow You want me
The King of Heaven wants me
So this world has lost it’s grip on me

Oh, You want me
Somehow You want me
The King of Heaven wants me
So this world has lost it’s grip on me

God You don’t need me
But somehow You want me
Oh, how You love me
Somehow that frees me
To take my hands off of my life
And the way it should go, oh

God You don’t need me
But somehow You want me
Oh, how You love me
Somehow that frees me
To open my hands up
And give You control
I give You control

Oh, give You control
Oh, I want to give You control
I give You control

You want me
Somehow You want me
The King of Heaven wants me
So this world has lost it’s grip on me

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Jason Ingram / Matthew Bronleewe / Michael Donehey

Control (Somehow You Want Me) lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Promise Me

It’s Song Lyric Sunday hosted by Jim Adams of A Unique Title For Me. This week’s prompt is Promise/Vow/Oath. Ever since I saw this prompt on Jim’s post a few weeks ago this song has been going round in my head. Not really sure why it stuck out so much – I think I just liked it at the time.

According to Wikipedia the song originally failed to chart when it was released in 1990 but after a successful UK tour it was rereleased in 1991 and peaked at number 3 in May. To be honest I don’t remember hearing much more about Beverley Craven after this song but apparently she has continued writing and performing and her 6th album, Woman to Woman, was released in 2018.

‘Promise Me’ would have been in the charts when I was just finishing up at high school. Maybe that’s why it’s memorable? I think that summer I went off on a tour with The Continentals (a Christian young people’s choir) to Scandinavia and Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia. It was probably pretty cringy stuff when I think back now but I guess it was different days. That was my first trip away without my family for more than a few days. I think we were gone about 5 weeks altogether. These days it’s holidays in the sun that are the done thing after finishing school (maybe not this year though).

Promise Me
by Beverley Craven

You light up another cigarette and I pour the wine
It’s four o’clock in the morning and it’s starting to get light
Now I’m right where I wanna be, losing track of time
But I wish that it was still last night

You look like you’re in another world but I can read your mind
How can you be so far away, lying by my side
When I go away I’ll miss you and I will be thinking of you
Every night and day

Just promise me you’ll wait for me
‘Cause I’ll be saving all my love for you
And I will be home soon
Promise me you’ll wait for me
I need to know you feel the same way too
And I’ll be home, I’ll be home soon

When I go away I’ll miss you and I will be thinking of you
Every night and day
Just promise me you’ll wait for me
‘Cause I’ll be saving all my love for you
And I will be home soon
Promise me you’ll wait for me
I need to know you feel the same way too

And I’ll be home, I’ll be home
Promise me you’ll wait for me
‘Cause I’ll be saving all my love for you
And I will be home soon

Promise me you’ll wait for me
I need to know you feel the same way too
And I’ll be home, I’ll be home soon

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Beverley Craven
Promise Me lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

Yes I Will

I’ve been a bit quiet again – I know. It’s hard to explain. There are just times when I find it hard to ‘talk’. Sometimes it’s even hard to share with my closest friends. I just seem to clam up. It’s weird in a way because there’s nothing I want more than a safe place to spill out what’s on my heart.

I’m okay really – in the midst of all the craziness in the world right now. Everything feels a little surreal. Hubby is working from home for the foreseeable future. My son’s uni is closed and classes are going online. I’m taking business a day at a time and counting on nothing since it seems like schools could shut at any moment. My daughter’s mission trip has been cancelled and I’m just hoping that she’ll be able to get home from California okay when the time comes.

Friends are having their holidays cancelled and it looks like people of my parents age will be asked to stay at home soon. Many of the shelves in the supermarkets are bare, a Foodbank in my area was robbed and some self employed people are worrying about how they will pay their bills. Night shelters are concerned about homeless people who may come into contact with the virus and teachers are wondering how the children who rely on free school meals are going to get fed. Like my hubby says it feels like the plot of a movie.

Yesterday was a little unusual for a Sunday. Although our church was meeting we didn’t get up early enough to go so we listened to a message online about Kingdom in Mental and Emotional Health. I got pretty emotional listening to it actually. I guess a lot of things resonated with me. In the afternoon I went for a long walk in the countryside to make sure I got my steps in for my charity challenge. After dinner (and a little/fair bit of wine) I fell asleep just before the end of the movie we were watching. Then of course, during the night when I should have been sleeping I was awake! 😝

Photo from Pixabay

One of the things I enjoyed most about yesterday was listening to my music while I was out walking. There’s something about being in nature that makes it easier for me to hear God and there’s something about the lyrics of songs that has a way of getting through to me. Sometimes even when I’m having a difficult day singing at the top of my lungs or dancing around my kitchen can be enough to pull me out of the doldrums.

This song is one that has helped me out of a difficult place several times. I recommend turning up the volume to listen to it. 🙂

Yes I Will by Vertical Worship

I count on one thing
The same God that never fails
Will not fail me now
You won’t fail me now
In the waiting
The same God who’s never late
Is working all things out
You’re working all things out

Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley
Yes I will, bless Your name
Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy
All my days, oh yes I will

I count on one thing
The same God that never fails
Will not fail me now
You won’t fail me now
In the waiting
The same God who’s never late
Is working all things out
Is working all things out

Oh, yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley
Yes I will, bless Your name
Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy
For all my days, oh yes I will
For all my days, oh yes, I will

And I choose to praise
To glorify, glorify…

Source: LyricFind

Don’t Speak

It’s Song Lyric Sunday (every Sunday) hosted by Jim Adams of A Unique Title For Me. For a while I’ve been reading posts by other bloggers who take part in this prompt each week but although songs often spring to mind I’ve never actually written about one myself. Partly, I think this is because I know I probably won’t manage to be consistent with posting weekly and that seems to be what people do. When I saw this week’s prompt though (Listen/Hear/Talk/Speak), SO MANY great songs came to mind that I had to post something. I eventually settled on this one as it has been a karaoke favourite of mine for years. Actually I need to clarify that – not exactly karaoke – I’ve actually only done that a handful of times. When I say karaoke what I mean is I’ve sung it lots of times in my living room playing ‘Rock Band’ with the kids when they were younger. 😆

Gwen Stephani singing Don’t Speak

Apparently this song has quite a lot of history. It was originally largely written by Gwen Steffani’s brother Eric as a love song but then after the band (No Doubt) got the song Gwen rewrote most of the lyrics to fit in with what was going on in her life. Her seven year relationship with bandmate Tony Kanal had ended and after several alterations it became more of a sad song in place of the jazzy original. The song topped the charts in several countries including the UK which made it No Doubt’s most successful international hit.

Being a lyrics person myself, these ones always get me. There’s so much pain in these words over the loss of the friendship and letting go. Maybe part of the success of the song can be attributed to how relatable the lyrics are?

Don’t Speak
No Doubt

You and me, we used to be together
Every day together, always
I really feel that I’m losin’ my best friend
I can’t believe this could be the end
It looks as though you’re lettin’ go
And if it’s real, well, I don’t want to know

Don’t speak, I know just what you’re sayin’
So please stop explainin’
Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts
Don’t speak, I know what you’re thinkin’
I don’t need your reasons
Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts

Our memories, well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands, I sit and cry
Don’t speak, I know just what you’re sayin’
So please stop explainin’
Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts, no, no, no

Don’t speak, I know what you’re thinkin’
And I don’t need your reasons
Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts

It’s all ending
We gotta stop pretending
Who we are

You and me
I can see us dyin’
Aren’t we?

Don’t speak, I know just what you’re sayin’
So please stop explainin’
Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts
No, no, don’t speak, I know what you’re thinkin’
And I don’t need your reasons
Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts
Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts

I know what you’re sayin’
So please stop explainin’
Don’t speak, don’t speak
Don’t speak, no
I know what you’re thinkin’
And I don’t need your reasons
I know you’re good, I know you’re good
I know you’re real good, oh

La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
Don’t, don’t, ooh, ooh
Hush, hush, darling
Hush, hush, darling
Hush, hush
Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts
Hush, hush, darling
Hush, hush, darling
Hush, hush
Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts
Oh, hush, hush, darling
Hush, hush, darling

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Eric Matthew Stefani / Gwen Renee Stefani
Don’t Speak lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

Merry Christmas!

I’ve been a bit quiet again for the last week or so. I’ve been busy getting organised for Christmas and I’ve been tired (got my energy back now though 😊). I kept thinking about writing different things but never quite getting round to it. Or starting draft posts and not finishing them.

I love Christmas! It’s probably the big kid in me 😊. It’s definitely different now that we don’t have little ones waking us up all excited at the crack of dawn (these days I’m first awake and probably the most excited 😂) but I love it all the same.

On Sunday at church we were encouraged to reflect on the first Christmas and what it would actually have been like to be there. I can’t help but wonder what it was like from Mary’s perspective. Pregnancy (especially the first time) is a strange experience anyway. It’s kind of like having a little alien growing inside you. How weird would it be to be pregnant as a virgin? I imagine that could be pretty terrifying at times. I wonder if she had morning sickness or worse all day sickness like I had with my son?

Then to have to take a long and uncomfortable journey to a distant town just days before giving birth. No option to phone ahead or book a nice hotel online. No fancy air-conditioned car to travel in. Instead a bumpy ride on a donkey – her back must have been aching!

Arriving in Bethlehem there were no hotel rooms left and they ended up slumming it in a stable or at least a room with animals in it. Imagine the smells; the moist, warm air from the animals’ bodies and breath. No proper bed to lie on while giving birth. Just some prickly straw and an audience of animals. No midwife or doctor on hand. No pain relief or water baths. Just her husband-to-be who probably had little experience of delivering babies.

All the same it must have been an awesome experience. To carry the Saviour of the world inside of her and to look into his little face when he was born. I’m sure, like most mothers, all the pain and difficulties were forgotten and love overtook her in that moment.

One of my favourite Christmas songs is Mary did you know? I love thinking about the words written to Mary and the tune is beautiful too.

Mary did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
Mary did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you’ve delivered, will soon deliver you

Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little baby, you kiss the face of God

Mary did you know? Mary did you know? Mary did you know? Mary did you know? Mary did you know? Mary did you know?The blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of the lamb

Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary did you know that your baby boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is heaven’s perfect lamb?
That sleeping child you’re holding is the great I am

Source: LyricFind

Mary did you know? Mary did you know? Mary did you know? Mary did you know? Mary did you know? Mary did you know? Oh Mary did you know?

Songwriters: Buddy Greene / Mark Lowry

Mary, Did You Know? lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group, Capitol Christian Music Group

I will write again soon but for now I just wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas! I hope you’re having a blessed day. 😊

Playlist 2018

img_6205It’s hard to believe this year is almost over.  It’s been a challenge in many ways (I’ll probably post some reflections soon).  I don’t know about you but often I find some comfort or meaning or at least some escape in songs.  A while ago I mentioned that I might post a playlist for the year so here it is.  It’s definitely not a full list of all the songs that have meant something this year (that would probably be too long) but for one reason or another these have all been memorable in 2018.  I’ve included links for some of them, some I’ve posted before but all of them should be easy enough to find online if you want to have a listen.  Hope you enjoy them.

My 2018 Playlist
Abba (Arms of a Father) by Jonathan David Helser
All I Am by Jess Glynne

Believing by Nashville Cast
Bulletproof by Citizen Way

Do It Again by Elevation Worship
Even If by MercyMe
Flawless by MercyMe
Good Good Father by Housefires
Grace Wins by Matthew West

Greater by MercyMe
Human by Rag’n’Bone Man
If We’re Honest by Francesca Battistelli
It Is Well With My Soul by Anthem Lights
Just Be Held by Casting Crowns
Known by Tauren Wells
Lost Without You by Freya Ridings

Make You Feel My Love by Adele
O Love That Will Not Let Me Go by Chris Rice
Overcomer by Mandisa

Perfect Grace by Philipa Hanna

Prodigal by Sidewalk Prophets
Promises by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith
Reckless Love by Corey Asbury
Rewrite the Stars by Zac Efron
Sanctuary by Nashville Cast

Shallow by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper
The One I’m Running To by 7eventh Time Down

This Is Me by Keala Settle

Thy Will by Hillary Scott and the Scott Family
Trust In You by Lauren Daigle
Who Can Compare to You by Matt Stinton
Write Your Story by Francesca Battistelli
You Say by Lauren Daigle
Your Love Defends Me by Matt Maher

 

Life Update

So I haven’t updated you on life since getting back from Tenerife.  We were very quickly back into the routine as I had work the day after we got home.  As soon as I’m back at work it pretty much feels like I was never away – I imagine most jobs are the same?  As well as work and running three classes last week I also did some babysitting for a couple of different friends.  I met up with my previous pastor’s wife and with a woman who wanted to find out more about the business I run.  We went to a worship night at a friend’s house, I got my hair done and I went to see my counsellor.  I had a new experience last Saturday too.  I joined a march organised by the teachers’ unions in Scotland.  I’m not particularly political and I’ve never done any sort of demonstrations before but it seemed right to take a stand on this and of course we arranged to go for a few gins after the event 😉.  It was a great atmosphere as there were somewhere between twenty and thirty thousand people there (depending which report you read).  We went to see a couple of friends in their AmDram production of The Sound of Music – there were some pretty talented people in the cast and we reckon that one of our friends really suits being a nun! 😂  I also finally got round to picking up our finished pots from the Craft Pottery – here are some pics for those of you who are following that experience.  Now we just have to decide what to do with the finished products.  Our options so far are: have some fun smashing them up, stick them directly in the bin or give them to some of our poor unsuspecting friends and family for Christmas 😂 – they might never forgive us!  Cast your votes or make a suggestion in the comments 😝.

img_5940  img_5939

This past week was much the same as the last with work, classes, counsellor and babysitting.  We also went to visit a friend in hospital and went to the cinema to see A Star is Born with Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper.  I really enjoyed the movie and the music was great although my hubby thought the storyline was a bit slow moving.  Last night I had a work night out for my boss leaving – it was a bit of a strange one as most people are not that upset that she’s gone.  There was a good turn out though so there were plenty of people to talk to.  I had planned to leave early and go on to another friend’s house for drinks but I ended up spending half the night waiting for friends who said they were just leaving and didn’t even order another drink because of that!! What a disaster! 😆

In between all the ‘calendar events’ and the more mundane aspects of living (like housework) I’ve watched some TV shows, read some books, listened to some music and played some guitar.  Here are some of the details of what I’ve watched, read and listened to recently if you’re interested:

TV Shows I’ve Enjoyed
Killing Eve
The Cry
The Great British Bake Off
The Good Place (new episodes still to come)
Suits (went back to this after a break to finish it off – still got a few to watch)

Books I’ve Read
I already told you about Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning
When Heaven Invades Earth by Bill Johnson (still working through the devotional at the back of this one – it’s really challenging)
Anatomy of an Affair by Dave Carder (if you’re married or thinking about getting married this is an interesting read)
Life with No Breaks by Nick Spalding (this one’s just for a laugh and I’m not finished it yet – don’t read it if you’re easily offended though)

Some of the Songs I Like Right Now
Overcomer by Mandisa
Write your Story by Francesca Battistelli
Bulletproof by Citizen Way
Prodical by Sidewalk Prophets
Shallow by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper (from the movie)
Lost Without You by Freya Ridings (love her voice)
Promises by Calvin Harris & Sam Smith
All I Am by Jess Glynne

Songs I’m Learning to Play
Do It Again by Elevation Worship
Abba (Arms of a Father) by Jonathan David Helser
Thy Will by Hilary Scott and the Scott Family
Who Can Compare to You by Matt Stinton (Bethel)
Your Love Defends Me by Matt Maher

So that’s about it for now.  Have a great weekend and I’ll write again soon. x